nothing gold can stay

still not praying. i was laying on the ground looking at the clouds the other day and i thought, "i could totally be encountering God right now if i wanted to." but i didn't want to. so i didn't. i find nature to be very lovely. but i don't find God in it.

i went to church on sunday, as my parents made me. it was boring. and really long. and they were asking for money. and i didn't like it.

i'm reading the perks of being a wallflower again. it's one of my favorites.

i've been trying to think more about my views on God lately. i keep coming back to the same conclusion. I don't feel like i believe in the God i've grown up learning about, but i believe in a higher power. as Charlie says in the perks of being a wallflower, "i do believe in God very much, i just never gave God a name, if you know what i mean." that's kinda like what i feel. and i don't think you need faith to be happy. i've been pretty happy lately, but nothing gold can stay, right? so i fully expect life to start sucking again sometime soon. but it won't be because of my lack of faith. it'll be my own fault.